Sunday March 21, 2010 Submit a story for publication. Want to support Daily Rotten? Buy a membership at Pornopolis! Also: Visit the Rotten Store Taxi Driver Mauled In Vampire Attack WABC | Submitted by: ditchley "First time, he's talk to me nice. After it's finished, talk to me bad..." Seck says the man first whipped him on the head with a gun. The men struggled over the gun. After Seck managed to throw the weapon aside, he says the passenger started biting him, five times to be exact including on his back while Seck leaned over to pick up the weapon." Read article... Comments (26) When In Doubt: Ritual Sacrifice London Telegraph | Submitted by: BloodyPubes "Four suspects were arrested for beheading the 26-year-old bricklayer in a remote town in northern Bangladesh on the instructions of the brick-field's owners... "They said the owners were unhappy as the brick-field was not producing reddish bricks despite enough heating. A fortune teller then suggested that the brick-field needed a human sacrifice." Read article... Comments (16) Bum Harvest On 69th Street Philadelphia Inquirer | Submitted by: Lance Corporal Toe_jam, reporting... "In the game, a group of children between the ages of nine and 15 congregating at the Finnegan Playground, beat, strike, and stomp adults they believe may be homeless... He said neither victim in the two attacks was homeless... Poppa, who suffered a heart attack either during or shortly after this piss-beating, was on a ventilator until Friday afternoon, Walker said. When he arrived at Methodist, medical personnel found footprints on Poppa's head & sneaker marks on his body. "They were stomping him pretty hard." Read article... Comments (16) Wall Of Pound New York Daily News | Submitted by: The Pylorca from Majorca! "Music legend Phil Spector is minding his tongue after having several teeth knocked out by a fellow inmate at the state prison in Corcoran, Calif..." Claim: "He said the wrong thing to the wrong inmate in the yard." Spector wound up with a bruised nose, black eye and the loss of a couple of caps." [Prison officials and Spector's wife all deny it, though. Also, another rock-n-roll daydream deferred:] "Spector was alarmed when a guard delivered a note from fellow Corcoran convict Charles Manson, proposing that he and Spector collaborate on some music. A prison spokesman said the letter was a fake." Read article... Comments (10) Germany Hungers For Greek Islands Washington Post | Submitted by: ditchley "After Greece recklessly spent its way into a debt crisis, potentially leaving German taxpayers to help fund a bailout, lawmakers in Berlin offered a suggestion to their profligate neighbors to the south: If you want to raise cash, why not sell off a few of your islands?... Leading economists say the inability of Eurozone countries to devalue their currencies now and become more competitive is a key factor in their prolonged economic downturns, potentially relegating them to years of high unemployment, stagnant wages and rising poverty." Read article... Comments (17) Military Learns To Love Afghan Drug Trade New York Times | Submitted by: emptyhead "From Gen. Stanley A. McChrystal on down, the military's position is clear: U.S. forces no longer eradicate, as one NATO official put it. Opium is the main livelihood of 60 to 70 percent of the farmers in Marja; thus: "Marja is a special case right now... We don't trample the livelihood of those we're trying to win over." Read article... Comments (14) Net Exacerbates Endangered Black Market San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: v^_^v "The Internet is becoming the dominant factor overall in the global trade in protected species. There will come a time when country to country trade of large shipments between big buyers and big sellers in different countries is a thing of the past." Most of what is traded is illegal African ivory but the group has also found exotic birds along with rare products such as tiger-bone wine and pelts from protected species like polar bears and leopards." Read article... Comments (7) Indian Old Ones Want Their Fish Back Stuff NZ | Submitted by: kiwidude "Two dozen Native Americans have embarked on a spiritual mission to New Zealand, where they will ask their fish to come home to California... As the Winnemem see it, the tribe’s troubles began in early 1940s, with the completion of the Shasta Dam, which blocked the Sacramento River, obstructing seasonal salmon runs, and according to the tribe, breaking a covenant with the fish... "The spirits came into the fire area here," said the chief, "and they said, You've got to get it done." Read article... Comments (9) Hogwarts Burns To The Ground Coventry Telegraph | Submitted by: lord redpubes "The Hogwarts set for the final Harry Potter adventure has been destroyed in a blaze as filming for the final battle scene went disastrously wrong... "We were shooting the scenes where Hogwarts gets blown up during the battle. But fire managed to catch hold of the set and it went up in flames. It was completely out of control at one point." Read article... Comments (187) Saturday March 20, 2010 Snitface Text Message Leads To Shitbeating ABC News | Submitted by: ferret "Treacy's 13-year-old girlfriend borrowed Ratley's phone to text her boyfriend, a 9th grader -- Ratley frowned upon their relationship because of their age difference, and began texting the boy to tell him so... During the ensuing exchange, the tenor of the messages became increasingly heated, culminating in Ratley making a flip comment about Treacy's brother -- he hanged himself last fall, and Treacy had discovered the body... Treacy replied: "I'm going to snap your neck." [A short bike ride later:] "He slammed this girl's head into the concrete, then he started kicking her and punching her in the neck..." Another student recalled watching a puddle of blood form around the girl's head." [Article claims they had never met before the incident. Girlfriend being charged as an accessory.] Read article... and This article... Comments (74) Sawmakers Castigated For Not Licensing Meat Detection Oregon Live | Submitted by: ditchley "Last week, a Boston jury agreed in a landmark trial, awarding a Massachusetts man $1.5 million for mangling his hand on a table saw made by Ryobi, one of the world's largest saw makers. Now, 60 similar cases nationwide claim that the standard design of table saws, unchanged for decades, is defective. In addition, they claim manufacturers are negligent in failing to adopt a patented flesh-detecting technology like SawStop's, which has been on the market since 2004." Read article... Comments (39) Astrophiles Move To Preserve Pisstanks Der Spiegel | Submitted by: Space Capt. Portlandddddd "The mission was historically significant. But are the urine containers? What is the laser-interferometer refractory index of light, when shone through a 40-something bag of middle-aged human male piss?" Read article... Comments (23) Tea Party Drops Pretensions Of Tolerance Jezebel | Submitted by: ditchley "According to Rep. Andre Carson, the protesters "were shouting the N-word" as he and two fellow black legislators left the Cannon House Office Building earlier today... "A staffer for Rep. James Clyburn (D-S.C.) told reporters that Rep. Emanuel Cleaver (D-Mo.) had been spat on by a protester. Rep. John Lewis (D-Ga.), a hero of the civil rights movement, was called the N-word And Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) was called the F-word as protestors shouted at him with deliberately lisp-y screams." Read article... Comments (44) Squirrel Cock Seeks Playmates Branson Daily News | Submitted by: Teddy Jack Eddy "They said that Flood "pulled down his blue boxer shorts, exposed his penis to them and told them they better be glad they don't have these [testicles] because they itch all the time." Flood had placed a squirrel skull "on the head of his penis and told them to look at it... then he ate the squirrel's eyeballs." Read article... Comments (21) The Coin Toss WTAE-TV 4 Pittsburgh | Submitted by: mcdanel Heads, it's the baby; tails, it's the dog... "A Somerset County man has been jailed on charges he repeatedly had sex with a 9-month-old girl... Police said Thomas also had sexual encounters with a dog that led to the animal's death." Read article... Comments (24) Behold! Jiggling Manass Fox Dallas | Submitted by: Silly Sickie "A naked man danced atop a billboard on Highway 183 on Friday afternoon, causing traffic delays in the busy area... Police said they found syringes on the ground below the billboard and that the man appeared to be high on drugs... Onlookers smirked and giggled as the man emerged and disappeared behind the billboard." Read article... Comments (11) Indian Randi Stares Down Death Spell Times | Submitted by: Silly Sickie "First the master chanted mantras, then he sprinkled water on his intended victim. He brandished a knife, ruffled the sceptic's hair and pressed his temples. But after several hours of similar antics, Mr Edamaruku was still very much alive -- smiling for the cameras and taunting the furious holy man..." Related news: "On Wednesday, police arrested a couple in Maharashtra state on suspicion of killing five boys on the advice of a tantric master who said their sacrifice would help the childless couple to conceive." Read article... Comments (17) Hormone Therapy For Argentine Rapists CNN | Submitted by: Pope Wobbly-Legs "The term "chemical castration" is a misnomer because the practice involves medication, not surgical intervention. Its effectiveness also stops when treatment is discontinued... Eleven convicted rapists in the province have agreed to the treatment in return for reduced sentences." Read article... Comments (162) Friday March 19, 2010 Slobber Slaked Generations Of Webelos Oregonian | Submitted by: azdollarbill "The case is one of the first to bring into open court hundreds of confidential files that the 100-year-old organization kept on Scout leaders and others suspected of sexually abusing boys... The Scouts, Clark said in opening statements, knew it had pedophiles in its organization yet allowed Dykes and others to continue to associate with its members. He held up file folder after file folder from Boy Scout headquarters that he said proves the organization knew of at least 1,000 suspected child molesters from 1965 to 1985." Read article... Comments (37) Brains Kneaded By Hairy Toes Kevinmnmd | Submitted by: Ozzwepay "A pediatric brain surgeon in Colorado removed a small foot growing inside the brain of a 3-day old. The cause was possibly thought to be from a fetal twin that began to form within another." [Look in thy glass, and tell the face thou viewest: Now is the time that face should form another] Read article... Comments (23) School Got You Down? Ithaca Is Gorges USA Today | Submitted by: Dr. Sputnik "After years of trying to shake the image that it's a "suicide school," as one official called it Monday, recent deaths have made it difficult not to associate the upstate New York institution with an above-average suicide rate... Coming as they do on the heels of another student suicide off a bridge in February and three more suicides during the fall semester -- as well as five other student deaths caused by illness or accidents -- the deaths have shaken the campus. "The cumulative effect of this loss of life is palpable in our community," Murphy said." Read article... Comments (13) Gayness Blamed For Srebrenica Massacre Daily Mail | Submitted by: RainbowofPubes "Gen. John Sheehan, asked: Did the Dutch leaders tell you it was because there were gay soldiers there? "Yes, they did. They included that as part of the problem. That the combination was the liberalisation of the military, a net effect was basically social engineering." ... July, 1995: 600 lightly-armed Dutch peacekeepers face off against the Serbian forces... As pleas to NATO for help fail, Serbian forces overrun the town; 8,000 Muslim men and boys killed in the five days of the fall of Srebrenica." Read article... Comments (24) BJ Services Mayor's Frack Hole Texas Observer/Chron | Submitted by: ditchley "Democratic gubernatorial nominee Bill White earned more than $2.6M serving on the board of a gas well servicing company that now is part of a congressional investigation into possible groundwater contamination... At heart is the issue of BJ Services' fracking activities. Hydraulic fracturing is an increasingly-utilized drilling technique that involves the injection of water and chemicals into "tight" formations deep underground to fracture the rock and release natural gas. The technique has opened up new frontiers in domestic gas production but is also linked to contamination of drinking water supplies, gas explosions, and even earthquakes." Read article... and This article... Comments (12) Texas Taliban Terrorizes Swingers, Unitarians Texas Observer | Submitted by: St Crispy "Some protesters, mostly young men in their teens and early 20s, wore black hoodies and military fatigues. The men, Amarillo would soon learn, were foot soldiers of Repent Amarillo, a new, militant evangelical group that advertises itself as "the Special Forces of spiritual warfare." Their leader, David Grisham, a security guard at nuclear-bomb facility Pantex who moonlights as a pastor, explained the action: "I don’t think Amarillo knew about this place. This is adultery. This is wrong. There’s no telling how many venereal diseases get spread, how many abortions." The goal, Grisham says, was not to save the swingers' souls, but to shut the club down." Read article... Comments (30) Killer Cloud Gargles Billionaire New Zealand Herald | Submitted by: P Ray "Billionaire liquor baron Michael Erceg flew his executive helicopter -- and the Dutch businessman who was his passenger -- into treetops that he apparently failed to see in time... Today the CAA report said Mr Erceg "probably did not appreciate the significance of the forecast deteriorating weather" and flew at nearly 170km/h towards rising ground, low cloud and decreasing visibility. In his last minutes, he was left with few alternatives." Read article... Comments (10) Osha Considers Cap On Boners Los Angeles Times | Submitted by: Ms. Furpie Tickleme'crack~ "We have been trying to work within the regulations, but it's almost impossible... If we were going with the letter of the law, every film would have performers in latex gloves and goggles." Read article... Comments (18) Don't Lick A Gift Cock In The Face The Indy Channel | Submitted by: lord redpubes "Perkins intentionally tried to spread HIV by having unprotected sex with dozens of women. Authorities said Perkins may have had sex with more than 100 women in the more than five years since his diagnosis... Most of them had met him at various bars in Johnson and Marion counties... Perkins also sent mass text messages in early 2010 asking for a sexual liaison." Read article... Comments (25) Sext-Crazy DA Restrained By Court Wired | Submitted by: furpo "A Pennsylvania appellate court upheld a preliminary injunction on Wednesday barring local prosecutors from filing felony child-porn charges against a teenage girl who took a partially nude photo of herself with her cellphone... The court said prosecutors were using the threat of charges as retaliation against the teen for exercising her constitutional right to refuse a voluntary reeducation program favored by the district attorney." Read article... Comments (13) When They Cut Off My Nose And Ears, I Passed Out CNNnafghanistan | Submitted by: seneschal "That was the first time she met her husband. He came home from Pakistan to take her to Taliban court for dishonoring his family and bringing them shame. The court ruled that her nose and ears must be cut off. An act carried out by her husband in the mountains of Oruzgan where they left her to die." Read article... Comments (26) A Jolly Swine In Camden Town NBC Philadelphia | Submitted by: reed and malloy were good cops "Parry admitted that he and the four other officers planted evidence; threatened people with arrest using planted evidence if they did not cooperate; conducted illegal searches and arrests; paid for cooperation and information, often from prostitutes, with illegal drugs; and wrote up false police reports and gave false testimony in court." Read article... Comments (15) Catapulted With A Querulous Gawk New York Daily News | Submitted by: Tony Alamo, Evangelist-Jail_Meat "A Greenwich Village woman who lost the use of her legs in a subway accident plunged to her death Thursday after cops said she somehow vaulted herself off an eighth-floor balcony... "This was no accident," a police source told the Daily News. "She was on the balcony up on the eighth floor and got herself over." Read article... Comments (6) Dog DNA Proves Slash-and-Maul The Independent | Submitted by: scarred 4 life "During the melee Tyson was stabbed twice, and as Johnson fled with his pet, the dog left a 600-yard trail of blood. Officers arrested Johnson 13 minutes after the attack, as he walked bare-chested and covered in blood down a busy south London high street... The police managed to prove that Tyson was the dog used to maul Seyi by taking a DNA sample from the dog and matching it to blood found at the crime scene and on Johnson. It is the first time that dog DNA has been presented as evidence in a British court." Read article... Comments (6) Booby Traps Blamed On Bikers KESQ | Submitted by: OMGCOD "The attacks started on New Year's Eve when a natural gas line was intentionally redirected into the undisclosed police task force building in an effort to blow it up... The attacks continued in February of this year when a zip gun was attached to a gate in front of the same building. When a policeman opened the gate, the gun fired a bullet narrowly missing the intended target. Two weeks ago a gang task force officer found a bomb attached to his car... On Wednesday during Operation Everywhere, the Gang Task Force arrested 30 motorcycle gang members." Read article... Comments (10) Harried On The Way To Flaming Death Independent Online | Submitted by: FlamingPubes "While on his way to the top, two men allegedly robbed him of the tog bag in which he reportedly had extra clothes... Two police officers arrived in time to see him on the edge, smoking a cigarette and sipping from a plastic bottle. He first told the policemen to keep their distance, then called one over to report the robbery. The policeman caught a whiff of petrol and realised this was what the man had been sipping." [Foomp] Read article... Comments (6) Palins Squeak By On Venezuela's Mystic Lubricant Washington Post | Submitted by: SpLattered SiLLy "Palin's anti-Venezuela sentiments do not appear to extend to her husband, whose snowmobile racing team was sponsored by a division of Citgo, the retail arm of Venezuela's state-owned oil and gas company... Todd Palin's Iron Dog snowmobile team competed this year under a sponsorship from Mystik Lubricants, which was founded in Texas in 1922 but now resides under the Citgo corporate banner." Read article... and This article... Comments (14) Official Executed Over North Korean Currency Botch Guardian | Submitted by: Kim Dong Huge "North Korea has executed a senior official blamed for a currency revaluation that damaged the already ailing economy and potentially affected the succession... Although people were allowed to exchange currency -- at a rate of 100 to one -- only a small amount could be changed. That wiped out the savings of slightly better off North Koreans.. Food prices soared as uncertainty over contradictory policies led to hoarding. By mid-January there were reports of rising deaths from starvation." Read article... Comments (10) You Lose... Comrade Wire Services | Submitted by: JJ "A Russian policeman has shot and wounded two passengers during rush hour on the Moscow metro after a row about giving up a seat for a pensioner... The policeman, who works at the ministry's department of public security, "acting in self-defence, took out a traumatic weapon." Read article... Comments (219) Thursday March 18, 2010 Jersey City Collars Piss Monster WPIX | Submitted by: anonymous "Cops say the 27-year-old man dubbed the serial urinator, terrorized the Bergen Square neighborhood since December as he preyed on young women... "He's been going up behind females who were waiting for the bus or just walking and just urinating on the back of their leg." Read article... Comments (21) Bored Jury Panelist Hatches A Plan New York Daily News | Submitted by: anonymous "This dingbat was sitting on a jury, judging a credit card fraud case, and decided to pick the pocket of another juror. She then used his card to make purchases, during the lunch break at the trial, at stores across the street from the courthouse." Read article... Comments (12) A Hundred Horns A-Honking Wired | Submitted by: Keystoner "More than 100 drivers in Austin, Texas found their cars disabled or the horns honking out of control, after an intruder ran amok in a web-based vehicle-immobilization system normally used to get the attention of consumers delinquent in their auto payments... Police arrested a former Texas Auto Center employee who was laid off last month, and allegedly sought revenge by bricking the cars sold from the dealership's four Austin-area lots." Read article... Comments (19) Robbers Pull Off Warehouse Caper ABC News | Submitted by: scarred 4 life "Thieves cut a hole in the roof of the warehouse and rappelled inside before disabling the alarm system and filling a tractor trailer with pallets of pills on Sunday. The drugs stolen were not painkillers or narcotics, but anti-depressants like Prozac and Cymbalta, along with cancer-fighting drugs... They made off with a jaw-dropping $75 million-worth of loot from an Eli Lilly warehouse." [Submitter: this is one for the folklore] Read article... Comments (22) Suicide Buddy Has Second Thoughts Edmonton Sun | Submitted by: manitobamadman "Hancock had agreed to help Derek commit suicide and the pair went to a river valley embankment in the Hardisty area where Hancock proceeded to stab his best pal in the chest as per their plan. However, after being stabbed, Derek "lost any thought of suicide and asked [Hancock] to call 911." Instead, Hancock only pretended to make the call and, after becoming concerned the entire blame would fall on him, tried to kill his friend by stabbing him in the neck... In the ensuing scuffle, Hancock cut himself on the hand, and then pushed his pal -- who was suffering a perforated lung and a lacerated jugular vein -- down the embankment before fleeing the scene." Read article... Comments (15) Fornicators Beware Dubai Texting Laws BBC | Submitted by: 501Arkansas "Steamy text messages have resulted in a three-month jail sentence for an Indian man and an Indian woman in Dubai... This is the latest in a series of cases where foreigners have been found to have broken Dubai's conservative laws." Read article... Comments (10) Brazen Intercom Abuse Wire Services | Submitted by: Mr. Misrell, PauliesGirl "A man used the public-address system at the Route 42 store in Washington Township Sunday night and calmly announced: Attention Wal-Mart customers: All black people leave the store now." Read article... Comments (28) Rome Tires Of Marian Reruns BBC | Submitted by: Rev. VN, gesticulating, slobbering, erect... In Croatia: "For almost 30 years, the Virgin Mary has been said to appear daily in Medjugorje, dressed sometimes in a grey dress and veil and sometimes in gold, crowned with stars and floating on a cloud." And in Burundi: "Worship has been banned on a small rural hill in Burundi, where a woman claims to see the Virgin Mary on the same day of every month." Read article... and This article... Comments (7) The Fancy Hidden Mausoleum NBC San Diego | Submitted by: San Diego Bishop's Office "Brooks pleaded guilty to killing Edward Andrews, 80, his pen pal who lived in a mobile home park in Riverside County. Brooks and an accomplice encased Andrews' body in a concrete orb that was the centerpiece of a rock garden in Brooks' landlord's backyard in San Diego." Read article... Comments (7) Police Boots Trample Garden Girl Radio Netherlands Worldwide | Submitted by: lexdysic "A policeman in the southern Dutch city of Dordrecht has confessed to murdering Milly Boele, a 12-year-old girl who went missing last week. The girl's body was found late last night buried in the man's garden, just metres from her own home." Read article... Comments (8) House Of The Beautiful Flowers CNN | Submitted by: OMGCOD "The house has a minimum age requirement of 60 and can accommodate up to 45 women. Right now, there are only 23 retired ladies of the night living there. The majority of them continue working, because there are still people who want to pay to have sex with them. We had the opportunity to meet some of the women that live there, such as 86-year-old Reyna, who sang for us and told us stories of her youth, and Lourdes, a childless widow in her 60s who is still turning tricks." Read article... Comments (8) Ponzi's Skyrocketing Whore Bill NZPA | Submitted by: kiwidude "Versalko, 51, last year admitted stealing $17.76 million -- the country's largest employee theft to date -- over nine years from 30 wealthy ASB Bank customers after advising them to invest in non-existent high-return finance schemes... He paid them back $4.6 million of their own money in "returns" on their investments, but then spent $4 million on properties and $3.4 million on the two escorts." Read article... Comments (6) Embezzler Clerk Found A-Dangling BBC | Submitted by: Antoninus Moronis "A senior HSBC bank clerk has been found hanged a day after fleeing a court where she was due to be sentenced for stealing £120,000... Near her a man, believed to be her husband, was also seen hanging from the footbridge over the North Circular Road in north London early on Wednesday." Read article... Comments (9) Seasonal Bank Robbers Assassinated Tennessean | Submitted by: hannahMondo "A man shot dead after robbing a Gallatin bank dressed as a leprechaun is the same man who robbed a Hermitage bank dressed as Santa in December, according to Gallatin police... Two men -- one dressed like a leprechaun -- chose St. Patrick's Day to rob First State Bank, firing at police who chased them down busy city streets to a field behind a subdivision, where they were shot dead in a gun battle with officers." Read article... Comments (7) Australian Internet Cops Fret At Oldmeme Australian Broadcasting | Submitted by: JJ "In January a Northern Territory man lodged a complaint with the Human Rights Commission about the spoof site Encyclopedia Dramatica. His complaint about a page featuring racist descriptions of Aboriginals prompted Google to remove the website from Australian search results... "We will keep publishing this content and our Australian users will be able to view it up until the point that your God-forsaken government blocks it with their soon-to-be-implemented secret list of banned material." Read article... Comments (11) Nazi Rainbow Across The Indus Der Spiegel | Submitted by: SSPX, the new grape drink! "Pakistan is the opposite of Germany. The mountains are in the north, the sea is in the south, the economic problems are in the west and the east is doing well. It's not hard for a German living in Pakistan to get used to these differences, but one contrast is hard to stomach: Most people like Hitler." Read article... Comments (15) Die, Little Car, Die! Sky News | Submitted by: Santy "The video shows a trucker thundering along the A1(M) near Wetherby, West Yorkshire, seemingly oblivious to the car under its cab. The lorry is filmed by another motorist for several seconds, with sparks flying from the blue Renault Clio. The haulage company -- Arclid Transport -- has confirmed that the video is not a hoax and that the lady driver in the Clio "got out and walked away". Read article... Comments (6) Sandtraps Of Track And Field Buffalo News | Submitted by: r2xman "A girl practicing her long jump Monday evening at a Fort Erie-area high school narrowly escaped injury after finding a pair of steak knives buried point-up in the landing pit of sand." Read article... Comments (8) Handcuff Collector's Roaming Fingers Local 12 | Submitted by: Alias47 "Willis has the distinction of owning the world's largest collection of handcuffs... It's a long way from Willis' Amberley Village home to the Dade County Corrections Facility, but that's where he is tonight. According to the police report, two young boys, age 7 and 10, claim Willis fondled them while he was visiting Miami." Read article... Comments (10) Body Stashed In Motel Boxspring WDIV-TV 4 Detroit | Submitted by: conculcate The body of a missing Memphis woman was found Wednesday inside a motel's metal bed frame... Five guests have since stayed in the room at the Budget Lodge during the murder. They had no idea that the 28-year-old's body was under the box spring and mattress." Read article... Comments (15) Hungry Fox In Cardboard Box Daily Mail | Submitted by: MunchyPubes "The baby boy’s remains had been buried in an open pauper's grave with 12 other children in Battersea New Cemetery in south London... The child was believed to be the son of a poor African family and his flimsy cardboard coffin had rotted within six weeks of his burial, leaving it exposed to animals... The newborn's corpse was then dug up and taken last September and has never been found. It is assumed that the body was eaten by a fox." Read article... Comments (9) How To Throw The Perfect Suicide Party Times | Submitted by: furpo "The most infamous in 2004 claimed nine lives in one day with a group of four men and three women asphyxiating themselves with carbon monoxide producing charcoal burners in cars parked in a secluded lay by on a mountain road 30 miles from Tokyo. Minutes after the police discovered the macabre scene the bodies of two other women were found in a separate car dozens of miles away. More recently in 2008 three men gassed themselves by mixing household detergents in a bucket." Read article... Comments (6) Family Toasts Crusty Old Man Ottawa Sun | Submitted by: anonymous "He used a wheelchair but his wife questions whether he needed it. A couple of residents said they saw him pushing himself around using only his feet... His 17-year-old son said he wants to meet his father's killer... "Whoever killed him, I'll give them a handshake," he said." Read article... Comments (236) Wednesday March 17, 2010 French Cameras Increase Milgram Rate ITV | Submitted by: Emperor Georgius Dubnyanus Bushea, crawling thru the Tiber "Not knowing the screaming victim is an actor, the semi-reluctant contestants yield to the presenter's orders & studio audience chants of "Punishment!" 80 percent of contestants zapped the victim with the maximum 460 volts, who then appears to die. Only 1 in 5 players, refused." Read article... and This article... Comments (26) Wachovia Laundered Money For Cartels New York Times | Submitted by: Effect "The Wachovia Bank, now a unit of Wells Fargo, has agreed to pay $160 million to settle a federal criminal case accusing it of laundering Mexican drug money... "Wachovia's blatant disregard for our banking laws gave international cocaine cartels a virtual carte blanche to finance their operations by laundering at least $110 million in drug proceeds." Read article... Comments (18) Free Boobs With Morning Cartoons WRAL 5 | Submitted by: meeeko, Voltaire's Bastard "While the menu of available children's programming was listed on the left side of the screen, previews showing nude women engaged in explicit conversations played in the upper right corner where previews of children's shows normally would appear... Poston said the explicit content aired from about 6:15 to 8:15 a.m. in parts of Cary, Garner, Morrisville, Wilson, Goldsboro, Willow Spring and Johnston County." Read article... Comments (18) Personal Grow Op Shocks With Size San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: v^_^v "It seemed like a pretty good haul for police: About 70 marijuana plants in various stages of development inside a 32nd Avenue home in the Sunset, two guns, scales, baggies and an illegal power-sapping hookup... Yet the pair were acquitted by a jury last week... The father, a retired security guard, truck driver, patrol special police officer and teacher -- and a veteran -- said he and his son both needed at least four cigar-sized joints a day to make it through." Read article... Comments (16) Much Respect, Ghost Dog Yahoo! Sports | Submitted by: artemisia "Tyson's love of birds started as a preteen when he would care for the birds kept by the older kids in his Brooklyn neighborhood. "I couldn't fly them off the roof," he explains. "Big kids would come and steal them." And it was the birds that steered him to boxing, he says now. "I never hurt anybody until somebody hurt one of my birds." Read article... Comments (16) Surprise! Horrible Anal Rape Philadelphia Inquirer | Submitted by: cracker666 "With her former lover nude and ready for romance at her place, police said, two thugs, 16 and 20, showed up and brutalized him with a broomstick... Police said they sodomized the man, then pummeled him with the broomstick. After the ordeal, the two tied up the unidentified victim with electrical cords." Read article... Comments (28) Irish Pater's Altar Topples BBC | Submitted by: fuglyfrank "The head of Ireland's Catholics has apologised for his role in mishandling the case of a serial child abuser... As a priest in 1975 Cardinal Brady was at meetings where children signed vows of silence over complaints against a paedophile priest." Read article... Comments (10) Riots Over Torched Ugandan Tomb New York Times | Submitted by: ditchley "The trouble started on Tuesday night, in Uganda’s capital, Kampala, when a suspicious fire engulfed the Kasubi tombs, built in 1882 and later converted into a royal burial ground for the Buganda kingdom... Tensions exploded earlier on Wednesday when Uganda’s president Yoweri Museveni visited the scene of the fire and protesters tried to prevent him from getting close to the tombs... According to witnesses, the demonstrators booed and jeered the president, set up barricades to block his motorcade and then pelted his security entourage with stones." Read article... Comments (12) Dentist Saves With Office Supplies Herald News | Submitted by: Phatlor "When performing root canal surgery, Clair allegedly used paper clips instead of standard stainless steel posts to save money. Paper clips can be used temporarily during root canals but can also cause infection... Between 1992 and 1998, he performed unnecessary dental procedures and encouraged dentists who worked for him to do the same." Read article... Comments (14) Unilluminating Statistical Pantload Misses Narrative Xinhua News Agency | Submitted by: mProper "China's Information Office of the State Council published a report titled "The Human Rights Record of the United States in 2009... in response to the State Department of the United States released its Country Reports on Human Rights Practices for 2009 on March 11, 2010, posing as "the world judge of human rights" again." Read article... Comments (11) Cook Leaves Bun In The Oven CNN | Submitted by: artemisia "After smoking marijuana at the restaurant where he works as a cook, Larry returned home to share a fifth of whiskey with the baby's mother... At 5:30 the next morning, Hatton awoke to the sound of the baby's cries coming from the oven. He had been in it for several hours." Wup wah: "The oven door was slightly ajar, and the oven was not turned on." Read article... Comments (15) Addled Vegan Pied With Cayenne San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: v^_^v "An ex-vegan who was hit with chili pepper-laced pies at an anarchist event in San Francisco said Tuesday that her assailants were cowards who should direct their herbivorous rage at the powerful -- not at a fellow radical for writing a book denouncing animal-free diets... She said the first pie hit her just after she uttered the sentence, "You should not eat factory-farmed meat." Read article... Comments (37) Chinese Zoo In Cahoots With Herbalists Guardian | Submitted by: artemisia "A scandal-plagued Chinese zoo has been shut down after the starvation of 11 Siberian tigers and allegations that it has been illegally supplying brewers of tiger-bone tonics... The authorities have launched an investigation into the Shenyang Forest Wildlife zoo, a semi-private operation that slashed rations for its animals after running into financial difficulties." Read article... Comments (6) A Snake's Dinner Wired | Submitted by: lord redpubes "Scientists have found a 67 million-year-old fossil of a snake coiled around dinosaur eggs and a hatchling. This is the first evidence of snakes eating dinosaurs... It's likely a slow-rising flood or a storm caused adult titanosaurs to flee, abandoning their nests. The snake then slithered into the nest... The titanosaur hatchlings had soft skeletons that "may have been somewhat collapsible, so you can fold their ribs up a bit and get them in your mouth." Read article... Comments (5) Coprolites and Cane Toads, Together At Last San Francisco Examiner | Submitted by: poop in the heart of Texas "The coprolite used the make the watch dials came from a plant-eater that died about 100 million years ago in what is now the United States... The strap for the Coprolite watches is made with the blackened skin of American cane toads." Read article... Comments (237) Tuesday March 16, 2010 Thai Griefers Hire Bloodmobile New York Times | Submitted by: Mr. Misrell "Antigovernment protesters pooled their blood -- drawn by medical workers in air-conditioned tents -- to unleash a red tide at the gates of Government House, the office of Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva, and later at his party’s headquarters... Clumps of coagulated blood clung to the pavement. A Brahmin walked barefoot through the foamy red pools and performed a ceremony. A soldier in full riot gear fainted." Read article... Comments (13) Officer Assaulted With Testicles STV | Submitted by: JK "Varinauskas, 28, tried to strike the female officer on the head with his privates when she was called out to a disturbance at his flat... "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck." Read article... Comments (28) Springtime, When Fancy Turns To Cock Global Post | Submitted by: anonymous "At the Hime-no-miya grand vagina festival, parents dress up their kids, pray for healthy babies, and celebrate with sake, beer and snacks galore. In the morning, children carry a small vagina to the Ogata shrine. Later, some forty grown men strain under the weight of a massive vagina while carrying it to the shrine in the main parade. They're followed by two smaller vagina litters. At the end of the day pink and white mochi [gluttonous rice ball treats] are hurled into the crowd." [Joy-filled festival days] Read article... Comments (31) Amateur Dentist Books Perp Teeth New York Daily News | Submitted by: scarred 4 life "Authorities have agreed to pay $95,000 to a former prisoner whose gold jewelry grill was yanked out of his mouth. When McCoy was booked, he was told to remove the gold grill from his mouth. He refused, saying it was cemented to this teeth. Which is when the lieutenant reportedly pulled on a rubber glove, reached into his mouth and forcibly removed it." Read article... Comments (19) Vice Squad: Monticello AlterNet | Submitted by: Cheese Nip "In 1987 agents from the Drug Enforcement Agency showed up at Monticello, Jefferson's famous estate... The agents were blunt: Jefferson's opium poppies had to be immediately uprooted and destroyed or else they were going to start making arrests, and Monticello Foundation personnel would perhaps face lengthy stretches in prison." Read article... Comments (20) Pegleg Causes Alarm Yahooxtra | Submitted by: kiwidude "Heather Mills was ordered to have her false leg searched for explosives... She quietly went and sat down shaking her head, and pulled up her trouser leg for an official to hold up her false limb and swab it. "Heather looked furious but bit her tongue. She appeared humiliated at having her prosthetic leg highlighted in front of other passengers." Read article... Comments (32) Land Of Plenty In Prison The Smoking Gun | Submitted by: ferret "Murphy targeted certain women in a charm offensive whose goal was securing sex or favors. One therapist said that Murphy "kissed me one day in my office and I just thought what the fuck did I just do... I couldn't say no to him... I couldn't get myself out of it." A guard who told of "swapping spit" with "Murph" admitted writing him a letter, stating: "I couldn't wait to..." Another guard developed a "limited emotional attachment" to Murphy." Read article... Comments (12) Auction: Share Needles With Jacko London Telegraph | Submitted by: JabbaDaPubes "The syringe that allegedly administered a fatal dose of drugs to Michael Jackson is reportedly set to go on sale for $5 million in Las Vegas... Anticipation runs high, with auction spectators calling it "one of the sickest lots ever put up." Read article... Comments (18) Snow Boner Spews Across Truckee Sierra Sun | Submitted by: aging disgracefully "We were so appalled that something like this could take place in our town. Parents were rushing their children away from it so they would not have to explain why grown men wearing fur were drinking the white fluid and dancing in it too... How did this happen? This is right in front of our Chamber of Commerce and California Visitor Center." Read article... Comments (17) Judge's Wife Tests Lobbying Waters Los Angeles Times | Submitted by: Rev. Bishop Ric Will**SSPX "In January, Virginia Thomas (wife of Clarence Thomas) created Liberty Central Inc., a nonprofit lobbying group whose website will organize partisan activism around a set of conservative "core principles"... She said it would accept donations from various sources -- including corporations -- as allowed under campaign finance rules recently loosened by the Supreme Court." Read article... Comments (20) Utah Miscarriage Law Emended Salt Lake City Tribune | Submitted by: ditchley "The bill's original version drew national headlines because it allowed criminal charges if the mother's behavior was "reckless." That raised concerns that a mother who fell on the ice or was an avid jogger and suffered a miscarriage could be charged with a crime. After this language was deleted, the bill was enacted." Read article... Comments (11) Pay-As-You-Go Fiddling BBC | Submitted by: Piffle64 "A charity has condemned the parents of a four-year-old boy who accepted money from a man who sexually abused him instead of reporting him to the police... "How bizarre -- go away, give us some money and go off and abuse children elsewhere." Read article... Comments (15) Cancer Stricken Employee of Year Fired WZZM 13 | Submitted by: anonymous "Last November, Casias sprained his knee at work. Marijuana was detected in his system during the routine drug screening that follows all workplace injuries. Casias showed Wal-Mart managers his state medical marijuana card, but he was fired anyway." Read article... Comments (30) GMO Fungus Invades Asian Breadbaskets Wired | Submitted by: m3ryl str33p "Stem rust is the polio of agriculture... While languishing in the Ugandan highlands, a small population of P. graminis evolved the means to overcome mankind's most ingenious genetic defenses. This distinct new race of P. graminis, dubbed Ug99 after its country of origin (Uganda) and year of christening (1999), is storming east, working its way through Africa and the Middle East and threatening India and China... "The pathogen takes out pretty much everything we have." Read article... Comments (7) Plane Runs Down Oblivious Jogger WGRZ | Submitted by: Mr. Misrell "The pilot tried to make it to the airport, but the plane started spraying oil across the windshield and the propeller fell off so he decided to ditch it on the beach... Officials say the victim was a man from Georgia on a business trip who was jogging on the beach while listening to a walkman." Read article... Comments (10) Loud Fucking Justifes Police Search The Raw Story | Submitted by: ferret "While loud sex may have been a plausible source of screaming, that explanation was not so reliable that the police acted unreasonably in investigating further... Arrested, McGacken consented to a search of his home, resulting in the seizure of 12.5 ounces of loose and bagged marijuana, 15 plants and marijuana-related equipment and paraphernalia." Read article... Comments (17) Phallus Dei On The Plateau Of Leng New York Times | Submitted by: ditchley "The cemetery lies in what is now China’s northwest autonomous region of Xinjiang, yet the people have European features, with brown hair and long noses. Their remains, though lying in one of the world’s largest deserts, are buried in upside-down boats. And where tombstones might stand, declaring pious hope for some god’s mercy in the afterlife, their cemetery sports instead a vigorous forest of phallic symbols." Read article... Comments (8) Dead Man's Fingers Tossed In Gutter Wire Services | Submitted by: Toodles Pookie "Ahmad was last seen leaving his job at a kebab house in Aldgate, London, in the early hours of March 7... A thumb found by a member of the public in Ilford, Essex, three days later has now been confirmed by forensic tests as belonging to the Watford man." Read article... Comments (8) Giblets Wash Down Hillside Wire Services | Submitted by: Veggie "Uppal said two fishermen reported finding the arms on Beer Can Beach on the Feather River on Saturday evening. Several feet up the hill, authorities found a decomposed head. No more remains have been found in the area." Read article... Comments (99) Daily Rotten Archives..