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Today in Rotten History |
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May 16 1984 Intergender wrestling champion and conceptual comic Andy Kaufman
pretends to die of lung cancer. In order to make it really convincing,
Andy underwent months of radiation therapy and six weeks of psychic
surgery in the Philippines. And he never made any more public
appearances.
May 16 1986 In the most notorious retcon in the history of television, Pam Ewing
wakes up to find her husband Bobby in the shower -- no small feat,
considering he's been dead for a whole season. In order to revivify
Bobby's character, the Dallas writers resorted to dismissing
the entire preceding year as nothing more than Pam's protracted
dream.
May 16 1990 Sammy Davis, Jr. dies of throat cancer in Beverly Hills.
After the legendary Rat pack singer/entertainer is buried
with $70,000 in jewelry, the family discovers that Mr. Bojangles
was broke and left millions of dollars in unpaid back taxes.
His widow then orders the body exhumed so they can repo the
jewelry.
May 16 1990 Attached to a ventilator and swimming in antibiotics, Muppet
creator Jim Henson dies of a severe case of pneumonia in a New
York hospital. In keeping with his express wishes, no one is
permitted to wear black at Henson's funeral service, which
features 5,000 fans waving painted butterflies and a live band
playing "When the Saints Go Marching In."
May 16 1995 After receiving an anonymous tip that a runaway teen was hiding there,
police in Coral Gables, Florida search Jennifer Capriati's motel room
and uncover 20 grams of marijuana. The 18-year-old professional tennis
player winds up diverted to a drug treatment program, avoiding a court
trial.
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Yesterday in Rotten History |
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May 15 1960 The Soviet Union launches Sputnik IV, a three-ton spacecraft
containing a "dummy cosmonaut." The mission goes fine until they
attempt to retrofire. A bug in the guidance system had pointed the
capsule in the wrong direction, so instead of dropping into the
atmosphere the satellite moves into a higher orbit.
May 15 1972 Hoping to gain everlasting infamy, Arthur Bremer pumps five
bullets into Democratic presidential candidate George Wallace
during a campaign stop in Laurel, Maryland. In his haste, the
gunman forgets to yell his carefully-chosen catchphrase,
"Penny for your thoughts!" And when Wallace survives the
assassination attempt, albeit confined to a wheelchair,
Bremer's name is soon forgotten.
May 15 1974 Three Arab gunmen disguised as Israeli soldiers seize control of the
schoolhouse at Ma'alot. Taken hostage are more than 100 teenaged
students and their teachers. The captors, members of the Democratic
Front for the Liberation of Palestine, demand the release of 26
political prisoners. Israeli commandos storm the school only 15
minutes before the deadline; 18 children are killed in the firefight.
May 15 1985 Graduate student John Hauser loses most of his right hand in a
UC Berkeley computer room when he opens an innocent-looking box
attached to a looseleaf binder. It is the second device left in
this building from the Unabomber. In fact, the engineering
professor who applies the tourniquet to Hauser's arm was the
victim in the previous attack, three years prior.
May 15 1991 Alan Cooper stands trial in England for "committing a
lewd, obscene, and disgusting act
on the 12-foot dolphin called
Freddie as they frolicked for 20 minutes off the harbor mouth
at Amble, Northumberland." Cooper responds by claiming that
his accuser was a sworn enemy and had trained dolphins for a
movie to jump out of the water and tear off a woman's bikini
bra. He is eventually acquitted of masturbating the cetacean.
May 15 1997 Federal prosecutors in the Unabomber trial file the necessary paperwork requesting the death penalty for Ted Kaczynski.
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Wait there's more |
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May 14 964 Pope John XII dies of injuries inflicted eight days prior by a jealous husband who caught him in flagrante delicto with his wife. The 26-year-old pontiff had received a blow to the temple, causing immediate paralysis. Critics had accused John of converting the Lateran Palace into a whorehouse.
May 14 1610 Fanatical monk François Ravaillac jumps aboard the coach of King Henry IV and stabs him twice through the open window. Then the French monarch bleeds to death before medical help can reach him.
May 14 1976 Keith Relf, former vocalist of the Yardbirds, is electrocuted in his London home while either tuning or playing a guitar belonging to either him or his son, in either the basement or the bathtub. Details are sort of sketchy, resulting from the family's reticence to describe the death scene.
May 14 1998 Mobbed-up international recording star and Academy Award
winner Frank Sinatra dies of a heart attack shortly
after the airing of the final Seinfeld episode. The
Chairman of the Board of Show Business had an oddly
appropriate personal motto: "You gotta love livin' baby,
'cause dyin's a pain in the ass."
May 14 2001 The Supreme Court rules that a federal law classifying marijuana as illegal has no exception for ill patients. The 8-0 decision is a major defeat for suffers of terminal diseases and groovy potheads alike.
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On Security |
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little
temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
Benjamin Franklin
"Never has our ability to shield our affairs from prying eyes been
at such a low ebb. The availability and use of secure encryption may
offer an opportunity to reclaim some portion of the privacy we have
lost. Government efforts to control encryption thus may well
implicate not only the First Amendment rights of cryptographers
intent on pushing the boundaries of their science, but also the
constitutional rights of each of us as potential recipients of
encryption's bounty."
US Appeals Court Judge Betty Fletcher
"The VCR is to the American film producer and the American public
as the Boston Strangler is to the woman alone."
Jack Valenti, MPAA
"If you want total security, go to prison. There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on. The only thing lacking is freedom."
Dwight Eisenhower
"A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere."
Groucho Marx
"WHO CARES ONE WAY OR ANOTHER IF THE GOVERNMENT SHOT MARTIN LUTHER KING? THE POINT IS I'M HUNGRY."
Spigot, Jerkcity
"I'm a bad motherfucker
don't you know
And I'll crawl over fifty good pussies
just to get one fat boy's asshole"
Stagger Lee, Nick Cave
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Accolades |
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information and not to rubberneck at other people's gruesome misfortunes.
Just like my husband reads Playboy for the articles."
"God, Liberals can't even keep their sorry-assed bias out Rotten.Com?
I was hoping to find a truly unbiased source for... god ... anything!
Liberal filth has even found its way even here..."
"I like the new News format and the slow emergence of an actual
conservative viewpoint however twisted....the good intentions of liberalism
have enslaved millions but have now outright killed thousands."
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get the bonus of ya'all not being 'linux fags'. Keep it up."
"You are doing an excellent job. I work at a news agency in Greece,
and when looking for international news, we often look for stories in
your site. I must admit I only used to come here to see pieces of
dead people or animals and people fucking, but the news section is
an excellent hub for weird and disturbing information."
"The difficulty in determining what are legitimate Internet news sites and
which online publishers do not have sufficiently high journalistic standards
to qualify will doom ICRA, civil libertarians predict. After all, even
rotten.com now features a news section, though the headlines do tend
to run along the lines of Postal worker jailed for flinging feces.
-- Wired
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Saturday 11 February 2012
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More news on Dr. Sputnik's Society Pages
WWI Cadaver Jackpot
London Telegraph | Submitted by: Bort
"Twenty-one German soldiers entombed in a perfectly preserved World War One shelter have been discovered 94 years after they were killed... A number of the soldiers were discovered sitting upright on a bench, one was lying in his bed and another was in the foetal position having been thrown down a flight of stairs."
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Comments (120)
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Body Discovered Four Years After Suicide
Daily Mail | Submitted by: Morka from Orca
"The employee of the Milwaukee County treasury office -- who entered his home in the West Allis neighborhood in order to start the repossession process- found Mr Carter's nearly skeletonized remains on his stairway, a gunshot in his head, and a handgun on his chest."
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Comments (43)
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Coming Soon: 30,000 Drones in American Skies
Washington Times | Submitted by: Soylent
"The FAA Reauthorization Act, which President Obama is expected to sign, also orders the Federal Aviation Administration to develop regulations for the testing and licensing of commercial drones by 2015... The [FAA] projects that 30,000 drones could be in the nation’s skies by 2020."
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Comments (60)
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US Coinage.. ON MARS
NASA | Submitted by: Veggie
At least it isn't the rare 1909-S VDB: "Edgett bought the special penny that's aboard Curiosity with funds from his own pocket. It is a 1909 "VDB" cent, from the first year Lincoln pennies were minted, the centennial of Abraham Lincoln's birth, with the VDB initials of the coin's designer -- Victor David Brenner -- on the reverse."
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Comments (727)
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Space Drives You Crazy (In the Eyeballs)
CNN Blogs | Submitted by: SPACE CADET MOOK
"In the past few years, about half of the astronauts aboard the international space station have developed an increasing pressure inside their heads, an intracranial pressure that reshapes their optic nerve, causing a significant shift in the eyesight of male astronauts. Doctors call it papilledema. Female space travelers have not been affected."
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Comments (5116)
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Friday 03 February 2012
Inmates Redecorate, Upsetting Porcine Establishment
Wire Services | Submitted by: tetheredgoat(se)
A hazard of using the incarcerated as slave labor: "Inmates working at a Vermont correctional unit's print shop managed to sneak a prank image of a pig into a state police crest that is emblazoned on police cars, and 30 cruisers sported the design for the last year, officials said on Thursday."
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Comments (47)
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Carding Gang Initiation Steep But Effective
Athens Banner-Herald | Submitted by: mungo
"Anyone who wanted to join Yadav's ring had to prove himself by having group sex with Yadav -- sometimes with other men, women or both -- all while Yadav videotaped the scene... Though the sex satisfied Yadav's own perversions, he used the unusual initiations to weed out people he thought might belong to law enforcement, according to Athens-Clarke police Detective Beverly Russell, who helped break the cloning ring."
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Comments (20)
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Hawaii: The Surveillance State
c|Net | Submitted by: Soylent
"[Hawaii]'s House of Representatives has scheduled a hearing this morning on a new bill requiring the creation of virtual dossiers on state residents. The measure, H.B. 2288, says "Internet destination history information" and "subscriber's information" such as name and address must be saved for two years."
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Comments (17)
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Fifteen Years of Mystery Meat
Daily Mail | Submitted by: The Medicated
"A teenage girl who has eaten almost nothing else apart from chicken nuggets for 15 years has been warned by doctors that the junk food is killing her.
Stacey Irvine, 17, has been hooked on the treats since her mother bought her some at a McDonald’s restaurant when she was two."
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Soccer Riot! 70 Dead
NPR | Submitted by: PETE58
"The tragic riot following a soccer game Wednesday in Port Said, Egypt, which left more than 70 people dead and at least 1,000 wounded, highlights the problems with security in this country... Egypt has declared three days of mourning ... [and] angry members of parliament denounced the lack of security at the match and gathered for an emergency session."
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Comments (26)
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Sodomy With a Twist (of Lemon)
The Local DE | Submitted by: Winston Tastesgood III
"The dismembered, partially cooked corpse of a missing man has been found in a Berlin apartment, where prosecutors believe he was killed after a sex game spiralled out of control... Carsten Srock, was found with his limbs expertly carved off with either an axe or large knife. The body pieces were then wrapped fastidiously in plastic bags and cling-wrap, and left to sit in the two-room flat for around three weeks."
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If Thy Urinal Offends Thee
Der Spiegel | Submitted by: Francis Cardinal George
"Women in the northern German town of Lüchow have expressed their dissatisfaction with the design of two urinals in the men's toilet of a museum dedicated to the Rolling Stones. They are shaped like red lips, similar to the legendary logo of the band, but they look more feminine, and they lack tongues."
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Terrorism: Everyone Is a Suspect, Especially You
Public Intelligence | Submitted by: Chuck
"The document... lists the use of anonymizers, portals, or other means to shield IP address as a sign that a person could be engaged in or supporting terrorist activity. The use of encryption is also listed as a suspicious activity along with steganography... In fact, the flyer recommends that anyone overly concerned about privacy... should be considered suspicious and potentially engaged in terrorist activities."
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Comments (572)
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Wednesday 25 January 2012
State Bill Outlaws Use of Fetuses In Food Industry
NPR | Submitted by: sharkfag
"I don't know if it is happening in Oklahoma, it may be, it may not be. What I am saying is that if it does happen then we are not going to allow it to manufacture here." To that end, his proposed statute reads, "No person or entity shall manufacture or knowingly sell food or any other product intended for human consumption which contains aborted human fetuses in the ingredients or which used aborted human fetuses in the research or development of any of the ingredients."
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Comments (109)
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Jewish Newspaper Floats Trial Balloon
Guardian | Submitted by: anonymous
The owner of a Jewish newspaper in Atlanta has said he deeply regrets writing a column suggesting that Israel consider "a hit" on Barack Obama if he stands in the way of the Jewish state defending itself. Andrew Adler told the Guardian he wrote the column in the weekly Atlanta Jewish Times "to get a reaction" from the paper's readers. "The reactions indicate that the Americans probably wouldn't let Israel get away with this. That's what I wanted to see," he said. "I feel really disappointed about that."
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Comments (34)
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Liberal Cat Found Dead
New York Daily News | Submitted by: scarred 4 life
"An Arkansas campaign manager says he came home Sunday and found his family’s cat fatally bludgeoned on his front steps -- with the word liberal scrawled across its side... According to a statement from Democratic congressional candidate Ken Aden's campaign, Jacob Burris’ cat had been hit so violently that one of its eyeballs was barely hanging from its socket."
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Accused Abuser Claimed "Ghost" Injured His Wife
The Smoking Gun | Submitted by: gargoylezero
"A Wisconsin man charged with domestic abuse told cops that a "ghost" was actually responsible for injuries suffered by his wife, according to police. The bizarre claim by Michael West, 41, did not prevent the Fond du Lac man's arrest for strangulation, battery, disorderly conduct, and resisting arrest."
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Thursday 19 January 2012
Kim Dotcom Is The Coolest Person On Earth
TorrentFreak | Submitted by: ditchley
"MegaUpload, one of the largest file-sharing sites on the Internet, has been shut down by federal prosecutors in Virginia. The site’s founder Kim Dotcom and three others were arrested by the police in New Zealand at the request of US authorities. MegaVideo, the streaming site belonging to same company, and a total of 18 domains connected to the Mega company were seized and datacenters in three countries raided." [Links on MegaUpload's fascinating founder]
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This... and
This...
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Comments (115)
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Iran Condemns Pornsite Programmer
Guardian | Submitted by: ditchley
"Iran's supreme court has upheld the death sentence for a web programmer who faces imminent execution after being found guilty of developing and promoting porn websites... "The use of vaguely worded charges is not new in Iran, but the allegation that these were carried out on the internet is. It is an unwelcome addition to the catalogue of ways in which Iran finds it can execute its own citizens."
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German Surveillance Network As Daughter's Payback
Naked Security | Submitted by: mambo
"Der Spiegel published a story in yesterday's edition of their magazine that the hack on the German police surveillance system "Patras" was prompted by a senior officer spying on his daughter's internet activities... It appears that a senior policeman from Frankfurt am Main installed spyware onto his daughter's computer to keep an eye on her online activities."
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Uighur Organ Harvest Season
Weekly Standard | Submitted by: Bort
"By the end of 1999, the Uighur crackdown would be eclipsed by Chinese security’s largest-scale action since Mao: the elimination of Falun Gong. By my estimate up to three million Falun Gong practitioners would pass through the Chinese corrections system. Approximately 65,000 would be harvested, hearts still beating, before the 2008 Olympics. An unspecified, significantly smaller, number of House Christians and Tibetans likely met the same fate."
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Mossad Kills a 4th Nuclear Scientist
Sky | Submitted by: Rosannadanna
"Mostafa Ahmadi Roshan, 32, died after two unidentified men on a motorbike fastened a magnetic bomb to his vehicle outside a university in east Tehran... The current head of Iran's atomic organisation, Fereydoun Abbasi, escaped another such incident in November 2010, when he managed to scramble out of his car with his wife just before the attached bomb exploded."
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Magic Bullets
The Economist | Submitted by: rf
"The XM25, as the new gun is known, weighs about 13lb and fires a 25mm round. The trick is that instead of having to be aimed directly at the target, this round need only be aimed at a place in proximity to it. Once there, it explodes -- just like Shrapnel’s original artillery shells -- and the fragments kill the enemy. It knows when to explode because of a timed fuse. In Shrapnel’s shells this fuse was made of gunpowder. In the XM25 it is a small computer inside the bullet that monitors details of the projectile’s flight."
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Colbert Tries to Buy South Carolina Election
The State | Submitted by: gleep glop
"We hammered out a contract over barbecue. Colbert Super PAC would pay up to $400,000 directly to the state and counties to defray the cost of the election. In return, the primary’s official name would be The Colbert Super PAC South Carolina Republican Primary. This name would appear on all press releases, official notices and signage, including the debates. We would finally raise democracy to the same level as the Tostitos™ Fiesta Bowl and Kardashian™ weddings."
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Masc Fish Trans Sex At Will
New Scientist | Submitted by: circus penis
"When it comes to selecting mates, hawkfish keep their options open. The flamboyantly coloured reef dwellers start life as females but can transform into males after maturing. Many marine animals do this, but these fickle fish have a rare trick up their fins: they can change back when the situation suits."
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Earth's Atmosphere Developing Rings
Alabama AWX | Submitted by: spooz
"The breaking waveforms of Kelvin-Helmholtz clouds are the result of shearing winds up at cloud level. A particular type of turbulence can develop in a layer of cirrus cloud, which happens to form below an inversion between air currents of differing speeds and/or directions. Sea waves break as their bases are slowed down upon reaching shallow water and their crests surge ahead. Cloud waves break in the same way: when their crests are pushed ahead of their troughs by the difference in air currents."
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Monday 19 December 2011
Family Values Mayor Bills Citizenry for Gay Sex Toy
Boston Herald | Submitted by: cheese fries
"Receipts show Southaven Mayor Greg Davis, a Republican who ran unsuccessfully for Congress in 2008 on a family-values platform, charged the city $67 for a purchase at a gay sex shop in Canada... The Mississippi auditor on Nov. 2 demanded Davis pay back more than $170,000 for personal expenses billed to taxpayers. There are no criminal charges from the auditor's investigation."
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Elevator Carnage in Brooklyn
New York Times | Submitted by: murcuryvapor
"The man, who appeared to be in his 40s, first sprays the woman in the face, then douses her methodically from head to toe with what a city official said was an accelerant as she turned and cowered, raising her hands, the grocery bags hanging from her wrists... The man struggles to light a barbecue lighter. He then ignites a Molotov cocktail -- a wine or Champagne bottle filled with accelerant with a rag stuffed in its neck." 2nd article, a couple days later, apprehension.
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Hummus Enrichment Averted
Daily Mail | Submitted by: Winston Tastesgood III
"The only information I really have is that he became stuck in a rather large machine which some people call an auger and others call it a grinder, Gregg Miliote, a spokesman for the Bristol County District Attorney's office said... The company, which is the second largest hummus brand on the market according to The Jewish Week, temporarily shut its factory down while an investigation by the federal Occupational Safety and Health Administration ensues."
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Raising Basement Veal For Fun and Profit
San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: exwife bite
"Tamara Breeden's ear was badly damaged. She had dozens of welts, bruises and lacerations on her scalp, which led her to wear a wig. She had similar injuries on her legs, arms and back. She also was extremely thin, with her hip bone protruding... Weston had more than 50 Social Security cards, power of attorney documents and similar forms when she was arrested, authorities said."
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The Force is Strong in This One
Oregon Live | Submitted by: TheRevDirtyHarryHammer
Even Jedis have bad days. "Police in Portland, Ore, were alerted to a disturbance in the Force Wednesday night after a man allegedly went on a rampage with a plastic light saber at a local Toys R Us store... Officers arrived and attempted to take the suspect into custody but he continued to swing the light saber and was yelling incoherent statements. One officer attempted to use a Taser but it was ineffective. A second officer used a Taser which made good contact but the suspect used the light saber to break one of the wires."
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Dear Departed Leader
National Post | Submitted by: Fort McMurray Oil Plant Dictators
"We hope his passing brings positive change allowing the people of North Korea to emerge from six decades of isolation, oppression and misery. The regime's reckless decisions and hairstyles have resulted in North Korea being an impoverished nation and a country isolated from the international community because of its rogue elevator shoes and ballistic missile programs." Dull but nice map.
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Friday 16 December 2011
Jedi Grows Stronger in Czechia
Czech Position | Submitted by: star wart
"Overall, 15,070 Czechs identified themselves as Knights of the Jedi with the biggest proportion of adherents in the capital, Prague, with 3,977 followers or 0.31 percent of the population. The fewest knights were found in the central region of Vysocina, just 0.08 percent of the population. It is probably off most Star Wars intergalactic radars or galactic positioning systems."
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Drone Capture: FOUO Report Leaked
The New York Times | Submitted by: Bort
"The timing of the disclosure interested the cybersecurity analyst Jeffrey Carr. Clearly someone with FOUO access wanted this information to be made public to inform the controversy surrounding the incident, he wrote on his blog on Thursday, using the acronym for the report’s classification as for official use only. He said the report outlines drone vulnerabilities that should be taken seriously."
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Comments (21)
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Wal*Mart Prompts Mass Bird Suicide
San Francisco Chronicle | Submitted by: Veggie
"Thousands of migratory birds are dead or injured after they apparently mistook a Wal-Mart parking lot, football fields, highways and other areas of southern Utah for bodies of water and plummeted to the ground... There's no count on how many died, although officials estimate it's upwards of 1,500."
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Asphyxio-Sex Gone Awry Prompts Flight to Kiln
Sacramento Bee | Submitted by: furpo
"He fell in love after several encounters along his rout and bought her an engagement ring, popping the question Sept. 15, 2009. As part of their celebration in Barstow, Calif., Carpenter agreed to let him bind her arms and legs and put a gag in her mouth as he acted out a fantasy... When he found her dead, Rice panicked and bought all the meth his dealer had and drove to Kiln, Miss., the body in the truck's cab under a tarp, he told police."
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Extra Special Student-Parent Makeout Sessions
Huffington Post | Submitted by: DS
"Video footage of a school prank which blindfolded parents and children and then made them make out with each other has provoked a mixture of outrage and disbelief... But unbeknown to them, the "special someone" was their mother or father. The principal of the Rosemount High School has been forced to apologise after the stunt provoked outrage."
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Da Dumpt, Da Dumpt. Sucks 2 Be U
Air Force Times | Submitted by: Hannibal Le Cannaibal
"The commander of the 37th Training Group at Lackland Air Force Base, Texas, has launched an investigation into a photo of 15 airmen posing with an open casket, in which another airman is posed with a noose around his neck and chains across his body. Da Dumpt, Da Dumpt. Sucks 2 Be U is written under the photo, which was emailed to Air Force Times."
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Wartime Secrets Provide Fuel for Fish Dinner
MSNBC | Submitted by: azdollarbill
"The 400 pages of interrogations, once closely guarded as secrets of war, were supposed to have been destroyed as the last American troops prepare to leave Iraq. Instead, they were discovered along with reams of other classified documents, including military maps showing helicopter routes and radar capabilities, by a reporter for The New York Times at a junkyard outside Baghdad. An attendant was burning them as fuel to cook a dinner of smoked carp."
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Newt Gingrich's EMP Doomsday Fantasy
Discovery | Submitted by: sgrannel
"A nuclear weapon could be detonated above North America, reasons Gingrich, and the resulting electronic interference would render the nation's power grid, satellites, computers etc., useless. Death and mayhem would ensue. It would be a bit like Mad Max, but with less '70's hairdos. Without adequate preparation, people won't know how to walk away from their broken electronic devices and function as normal human beings. We would basically lose our civilization and resort to cannibalism in a matter of seconds."
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Cat Takes the Bus! or, How Did This Get on Daily Rotten
London Telegraph | Submitted by: puffintop
Why would someone submit this to Daily Rotten? "The 15-year-old Tom even sits on bemused passengers' laps as the bus makes up to 10 mile round trips from Bridport to Charmouth in Dorset. Dodger is such a regular customer that some of the drivers take tins of cat food to work with them to give to him. They even know what stop to let him off at. At the end of his journies the roving moggy returns to his home and owner Fee Jeanes."
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Daily Rotten Archives..
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